Monday, November 24, 2008

I got Jacked!!

No, this wasn't the kind of jacked that happens when they screw up your fast food order. Nor was it the kind of jacked that happens when your cable bill arrives only to feature the latest slew of nickel and dime fees raising the monthly total to some astronomical level. This was full on, gun to your head, give me your money jacked.

I normally hesitate to post things on my blog without including pictures I've taken. Sorry, I didn't get this guy's picture but I wanted to share the experience anyway, so here it goes. Before I continue I'll let it be known that I'm physically fine and wasn't injured in the ordeal.

As Monk would say, "Here's what Happened..."

I've made it a habit lately of taking my dog Izzy (see previous post) out on a walk late at night. I'm not talking 2 or 3 am late but 11:15 late. (I usually go to bed at 2 or 3) The neighborhood I walk her in is a big master planned development in a safe (past tense) part of Las Vegas. We live in Summerlin for those familiar with Sin City. Anyway Izzy and I were walking along on the sidewalk and I hear this shuffle behind me. Before I continue I guess I should further describe the area I was walking in. The neighborhood is fairly established with a decent amount of mature landscaping. As such, it's easy for people to hide, especially at night.

On with the story. Looking back I didn't see anything so Izzy and I continued. Almost instantly this guy came rushing from behind while racking a gun. "Aw man" I thought. "Why didn't I get that Nevada concealed permit." (Honestly, that's the thought that went through my head) He moved closer demanding to have my wallet.

"I don't have my wallet on me."

"Give me your wallet!!"

"Look man, I don't have my wallet, you can take my cell phone."
I conceded this as it was already in my hand and I knew he had seen it.

He then put the gun (black semi-automatic for those wondering, sorry couldn't tell what make, it was dark) to the front of my head and began to search my pockets. Now, I'll be honest, (because I wasn't when I said I didn't have my wallet on me) I had my wallet in my back pocket where 83.67% of guys keep their wallet. He started searching in my front right pocket and worked his way to the left and then headed towards the back. (This is where I'd love to say I made my move and put him in a triangle choke hold until the cops arrived, but, alas I don't know the triangle choke hold) As he moved to the back I knew he was going to find my wallet so I took it out, slid it around to my right front and while doing so I slipped out whatever cards I could grab before giving it to him. Seeing he didn't notice this I felt like freaking Houdini and celebrated my small victory in the back of my head.

As soon as he had my wallet in hand he started running off when he was joined by a buddy that must have been hiding further up.

"Can I at least have my drivers license?" I yelled feeling oddly brave and trying to reach a sensible resolution. The buddy that had joined the original perpetrator stalled for a minute and I could hear him say, "give him his driver's license and let's get out of here." (He must have had the same experience with the DMV that I did) The guy with the gun must've lost some respect for his partner in crime as he said, "No, let's get out of here," as he continued to run. I tried to follow them but they jumped in their getaway car they had hidden and took off.

What did they get as a result of their dysfunctional lives leading them to a life of armed robbery? A couple credit cards, my temple recommend (man and I was so excited when they changed the expiration date on these things to two years so I wouldn't have to schedule two interviews again but mine didn't even last 6 months), a debit card, UNLV student ID, Insurance Card, and a fortune cookie label that said "You're hard work will pay off soon" or something like that. (I kept that one because I'm hoping it will apply to getting into Dental School;)

I pulled out the cards I had slipped out from my pocket. What were they? My Driver's license and my AMEX card, the one I use 99.56% of the time!! (Success!!) The last thing I wanted to do was go back to the DMV, and had I not grabbed that credit card I'd be in trouble because I carry no cash, only plastic.

Where was Izzy during all of this you might ask? I mean she is a dog and dogs are supposed to be protective of their owners, right? Fat chance, that little puppers thought she'd made a new friend. She was licking and jumping all over the guy. Worthless little... =)

Long story short, (sorry for all the text w/o pictures, if I lost you a long time ago I apologize, I just wanted to get some thoughts out), the cops came, took the report, couldn't find the guy, yada yada yada. I asked them if they could track the phone like in the movies (I said it in a joking way to not appear too idiotic but at the same time I was hoping they really could) but they laughed and said they couldn't do that kind of thing. I got my cards canceled. Apparently they tried to use my debit card but didn't know the pin so that was declined. There was a credit card transaction at a gas station but the bank said they'd report that as fraud and dispute it.

Through the whole experience I never was really all that scared. At the same time, I wasn't upset or angry either. It was more of a "you gotta be kidding me." disbelief. After everything was over I was more shaken up than I was during the actual robbery. I keep going over what I could've done differently in my head but I keep reaching the same conclusion, I did the right thing because I'm still alive and lost relatively little all things considered. In the end I'm thankful for how it turned out and hope that it never happens again. Now to go cancel my lease (yes I'll be moving due to this incident coupled with my car getting broken into a month ago), teach Izzy the difference between good and bad people, and to learn that stinking triangle choke hold.

5 comments:

Jennie said...

Wow man! So glad you came out ok!

Andrea said...

WHOA! Russ, I'm glad you are okay. How crazy! (And I thought Chicago was dangerous...)

What a story! I loved the way you wrote it, by the way -- quite humorous retelling. You're a good writer. Good luck on replacing your recommend and finding a new place.

oneHeidifamily said...

Russ,
I am so, so glad that you were OK after that whole experience; I hope you don't have too much PTSD. I was very impressed with your 'quick thinking' act of moving the wallet! Don't forget to use the buddy system from now on, if you can help it!

Tiffany said...

I seriously was laughing so hard through this story, but only because of how awesome it was written! I could hear you in my brain saying it as I was reading, and it was quite entertaining. Is that weird? :) Glad you didn't die, and sorry about the things you lost. The dude is an idiot for not noticing that you moved the wallet!

George said...

Holy Schla-moley! That is quite the story. You basically did everything perfectly. I'm impressed with how you were able to keep your cool and get the cards out of your wallet. Very nice!